Sunday, July 26, 2009

time for some changes...

I have come to the conclusion that I need to check myself into "Facebook Rehab". As funny as that sounds, I've recently come to the conclusion... (although I've known it for a long time but kept myself in denial) that I've actually become addicted to Facebook! I've wasted way too many hours on it and it needs to come to an end. I've tried to put restrictions on myself at various points in the last few years, recently limiting myself to 30 minutes/day, but that only lasted about a week or so...maybe a little more.

My point is, as much as I love Facebook and keeping in touch with so many people all over the world, I've allowed it to take over me! I guess I must have an addictive personality, or really lack discipline, but in spite of my efforts, I can't seem to 'enjoy Facebook to a minimum'.

I've let my quiet times with God take second place, I end up scrambling around in the morning to get ready on time because time seems to slip away quicker than I expect when I decide to spend 'just a few minutes' on Facebook instead of eating breakfast, and who knows how many hours of sleep I've missed out on because I just 'had to' check my Facebook.

It's stupid really... as I sit here and think about what I do on Facebook, it's ridiculous that I let myself try to find more things to do to keep me on Facebook even when I've caught up with everyone's status updates AND pictures AND notes AND whatever else can be checked... even looking at someone else's pictures...of people I don't even know! Some nights, when I can barely hold my eyes open because I'm so tired, what am I doing instead of going to bed? Wasting time on Facebook. How silly is that? It makes me sick to think about all the hours I have wasted, and all of the things I could have been doing in that time.

I've known that I need to 'quit Facebook' for a LONG time, but I just haven't had the guts to do what it takes to get rid of it. This Friday I started reading a book I borrowed from my teammate called "Intimacy with the Almighty" by Charles Swindoll and something caught my attention in the introduction. "...inner satisfaction is neither complicated nor mystical, but it does call for some radical changes. Difficult changes. Unpopular changes. Lifestyle changes...." Immediately when I read that, I just knew God was speaking to me about finally getting rid of Facebook once and for all.

I'll be the first to admit, this won't be easy, but I know it will end up being one of the best decisions I've ever made! What's the worst that could happen? I'll miss out on seeing pictures from someone's new pet or summer vacation? I will admit that yes, I will miss being 'caught up' with so many people though. My Mom always says I know more about what's going on in Canada than she does... and I live in Japan!

I know this will be a HARD habit to overcome and it won't come naturally so I need your help...

Here's the scoop... I don't want to completely delete my account because this is my only connection to a lot of people... and I want to leave an explanation as to why I'm not as 'active' anymore. I'm going to log in again once in a month just in case anything important comes up, but please send me an e-mail to my hotmail account if you want to make sure we stay in touch! After the one month check, I'll delete it for good.

I hope I'm not coming across as judgmental or 'holier than thou' because that's not what I'm going for. This is a personal decision and I know that Facebook can be used in moderation, but I seem to have some moderation issues!!

Please pray for me as I make this big change. One of the biggest areas of my life that has suffered because of my addiction to Facebook has been my relationship with God and I'm not proud of that at all. I know that it's been a weakness that Satan has totally made the most of and it needs to go! My heart's desire is that this will be a permanent change and not my typical 'start with good intentions but keep falling in the same place over and over' phases. I am really looking forward to the growth that this decision will bring and I know I won't regret doing this!

so... Farewell Facebook. Hello new lifestyle...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so proud of you! Thanks for sharing your heart with us and being so honest and transparent. You won't regret this decision. I know God will honor you for choosing to make Him a priority in your life!
Love you, Little One,
MT

Hillary said...

Thanks Lissa :) I appreciate the encouragement! I love you too!
PS I think I need you to come up with a witty 'big sister nick name' for yourself because I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate being called 'big one' now would you??!! :P

Anonymous said...

yes, please keep thinking of names! "big one"?!?! NOT COOL!

Hillary said...

I told you, that's your job because I can't come up with anything! Can I just call you Ursula like Bard does? :P